R U OK? Day: Why One Question Can Change a Life

 Every September, those three words appear everywhere: R U OK? Posters at train stations, badges at work, hashtags on social media. At first, it feels like just another campaign, but the story behind it makes you stop and think.

The day was created in 2009 by Gavin Larkin, who lost his father, Barry, to suicide. Gavin believed that if someone had asked his dad that one simple question — “Are you OK?” — it might have opened the door to a different outcome. He turned his personal pain into a national movement, urging us all to check in on one another.

It matters because the reality is confronting. In Australia, suicide is still the leading cause of death for people aged 15 to 44. On average, nine Australians die by suicide every single day, and many more attempt it. Behind each statistic are families, friends, colleagues, and communities left to pick up the pieces. It makes me wonder: how many lives could change if we reached out more often?

I remember a colleague telling me once that a check-in from a friend during her darkest time kept her afloat. She didn’t get advice or solutions, but she felt seen, and that was enough to keep going. That’s the heart of R U OK? Day — connection, not perfection. There are countless stories like this, including one widely shared about a young man on the brink of suicide who decided to stay because a mate asked the question and sat with him through the night. He later said that simple act saved his life.

Since it began, R U OK? has sparked millions of conversations in schools, workplaces, and communities. I’ve seen schools run workshops where students practise how to ask and listen, and I’ve seen offices set aside time for morning teas where people talk about more than just deadlines. But the challenge is to make sure it doesn’t stay symbolic. Wearing yellow or posting online is good, but it’s what we do beyond today that truly counts.

For me, the most powerful part is carrying the habit forward. I’ve been in moments where I wasn’t okay myself, and what helped wasn’t a quick fix but a friend who took the time to listen. I’ve also noticed when I open up about my struggles, it gives others permission to be honest too. Asking someone if they’re okay is important, but so is being ready to hear the answer, to sit with silence, to check back in later. It doesn’t take special training — it just takes care.

So today, think of someone you haven’t checked in on for a while. A friend who’s been quiet, a family member under stress, a colleague who seems withdrawn. Send a message, pick up the phone, or sit down with them. It may feel like a small gesture to you, but it could mean everything to them. One caring question can ripple further than we realise.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. In Australia, you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. You can also visit ruok.org.au for resources on how to ask, how to listen, and how to encourage support.