हथियार उठा लो आज

नववधू की हृदय विदारक चीत्कार,

बिखरी है व्योम में,

 

चूड़ियों के टूटने की आर्त पुकार,

गूंजी है रोम-रोम में।

 

बिलखते बच्चों की भयभीत दृष्टि,

छाती पीटती माँ की नयन वृष्टि।

 

हर मोड़ पर लहू में डूबी उम्मीद की लकीर,

रक्तरंजित घाटी में तड़पती वेदना की तस्वीर।

क्या यही है मेरा कश्मीर ? क्या यही है मेरा कश्मीर?

 

इन वादियों में गूँजती है दर्द की कहानियाँ,

सिसकती फ़िज़ाओं में भटकती जवानियाँ

 

कहीं धधकती चिताओं से उड़ती राख

ज़ख्मों पर छिड़कती सियासी खाक

 

शोकसभा में बँट गई संवेदनाएँ

कैंडल मार्च में जल गयी आशायें

 

आँसू भी यहाँ बिकते हैं संसद के गलियारों में,

और दर्द…बस मुद्दा बन जाता है अगले चनावों में।

 

अंधकार की सीमा पर बैठा

डर और ग़ुस्से के बवंडर में पैठा

 

ध्वस्त दीवारों में सिसकता शांति प्रस्ताव

दरिद्रता की ढेरी पे बैठ पड़ौसी दिखाता ताव

 

वोह भूखा है

वोह नंगा है

मगर बारूद के पुंज पर बैठा है

 

हद हो गई अब—और सहा न जाएगा,

वेदना का यह लावा अब आक्रोश में ढलता जाएगा।

 

बहुत हुआ अब मूक तमाशा,

है मार मिटाने की अभिलाषा।

 

हर दिल में आग धधकती है

हर घर में  ज्वाला भभकती  है

 

अब विनाश का उत्तर सृजन नहीं ,

बलिदान का उत्तर प्रतिशोध है। 

 

माँ की चूड़ियाँ मांगती है हिसाब,

देदो शहीदों की चिताओं और

बच्चों की चीखों का जवाब।

 

हर राख से चिंगारी भड़केगी

हर कब्र से सिपाही निकलेगा   

 

हर बन्दूक आग उगलेगी

हर दुश्मन की जान निकलेगी

 

कश्मीर हमारे सर का ताज

तुम हथियार उठा लो आज

 

 

The Dance of Life: 60 Years of Wisdom, Love, and Creativity

🎂🎊🥂 Today, I turn 60. As I look at these two photos, one from my 16-year-old self talking over an old-fashioned landline phone, and the other from today, smiling with my mobile in hand, I can’t help but feel a deep sense of nostalgia and gratitude. The lamp shades may have changed, the phones evolved, but the essence of who I am—the laughter, the love, the challenges, and the growth—remains  unshaken .At 16, I was filled with youthful dreams, talking to the world over the phone, blissfully unaware of what lay ahead. Today, I smile in the same way, but now, the world fits in the palm of my hand, and the background tells the stories of modern times.

From the young girl who dreamed of music, dance, and creativity, to the woman I am now—an artist, a choreographer, a counselor, a wife and a mother—I have lived a life rich with experiences, both sweet and bitter. Each step of my journey has taught me something invaluable, from the beauty of Indian classical arts to the lessons I’ve learned from working with people from different walks of life, across continents.

Bachelors, Diplomas ,Masters and a PhD… yes, these degrees reflect my academic pursuit, but the real wisdom I carry is not found in textbooks—it’s found in the struggles I’ve faced, the friendships I’ve built, and the wisdom earned through both tears and joy. Life has its ups and downs, and there were moments when I stumbled, but each fall was followed by a rise, each heartbreak transformed into strength.

To my daughters, now creating their own beautiful stories, and to the younger generations that will follow, my heart says this: Life will never be easy, but it will always be worth it. There will be days when you question everything, when you feel lost or weary, but remember, it’s the hard days that build your resilience. Don’t be afraid to dream big, and even more importantly, don’t be afraid to fall. Learn to rise, to love deeply, to listen to your soul, and to never stop creating.

At 60, I am thankful to this journey, to my family, to my art, and to all the love that surrounds me. I am still learning, still growing, and still smiling as I continue this beautiful dance of life, with my feet rooted in the past and my eyes looking ahead to the future.

Here’s to the next chapter.

#60YearsOfLife #GratefulHeart #LifeIsArt #NeverStopGrowing #EmbraceEveryMoment

 

Addressing the Dilemma of Unpaid Placements in Counselling Education

 

 

Working as a counsellor and a counselling student, I am greatly distressed for the growing problems which results in unpaid placement in the system of education. The story of Nariman Dein, a young ambitious psychologist, whose higher education was interrupted by the necessity of taking up unpaid work placement positions, highlights a deeper issue affecting students at multiple levels of study.

The 200 hours of placements and 40 hours of supervision are much needed part of the counselling educational programs. Nevertheless, this demand for counsellors who are actively practicing and registered with counselling governing boards poses a great challenge. The result of the study reveals that professionals who are competitively committed will regularly achieve more than is expectant of their supervisory hours before they enrol for the formal attachment (Smith et al., 2020).

L lived through the same situation as other students with social inequalities. The financial pressure of unpaid internships is unreasonable and unfair which specifically falls on the individuals who cannot afford to lose out on paid employment opportunities. Research has shown that those who do unpaid placements have a higher probability of dropping out of school or switching programs, while those who experience financial difficulties also have a greater likelihood of quitting or altering their program (Jessup et all 2022).

Furthermore, the personal consequences of these obstacles are not overestimated. As shown by the work of ( Hodge et al (2021) under-paying internships were associated with increased anxiety, depression and burnout in students who were forced to work there. The struggle to manage academic loads with pragmatic training needs and financial restraints of students from homogenous backgrounds can lead to a variety of mental health difficulties.

University Accord' report (2022) drawn this very picture with "placement poverty" phenomenon and that is why a systemic change is so much needed. The report is focused on the funding of placements, especially the most critical field of all, mental health counselling, where practice is pivotal.

As a proponent for change in the counselling community, I encourage the stakeholders to see the wider context of unpaid placements for students and its impact on their well-being and professional development. A paid placement scheme not only promotes diversity and inclusiveness but also allows prospective counsellors to follow their dreams of higher education without worrying about financial stability and mental health.

The bridge between academic standards and real-world needs could enable the creation of an educational terrain that supplies the children of the caring and competent counsellors.

References:

Durack, K. T. (2013). Sweating employment: Ethical and legal issues with unpaid student internships. College Composition and Communication, 65(2), 245–272. https://doi.org/10.58680/ccc201324501

Hodge, L., Oke, N., McIntyre, H., & Turner, S. (2021). Lengthy unpaid placements in social work: Exploring the impacts on student well-being. Social Work Education, 40(6), 787–802. https://doi.org/10.1080/02615479.2020.1736542

  Jessup, B., Hoang, H., Podubinski, T., Obamiro, K., Bourke, L., Hellwege, B., Jatrana, S., Heaney, S., Farthing, A., Sheepway, L., & Rasiah, R. (2022). ‘I can’t go, I can’t afford it’: Financial concern amongst health students undertaking rural and remote placements during COVID‐19. The Australian Journal of Rural Health, 30(2), 238–251. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajr.12855

Morley, C., Hodge, L., Clarke, J., McIntyre, H., Mays, J., Briese, J., & Kostecki, T. (2023). ‘This unpaid placement makes you poor’: Australian social work students’ experiences of the financial burden of field education. Social Work Education, 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/02615479.2022.2161507

Smith, S., Smith, C., & Caddell, M. (2015). Can pay, should pay? Exploring employer and student perceptions of paid and unpaid placements. Active Learning in Higher Education, 16(2), 149–164. https://doi.org/10.1177/1469787415574049

Nariman was forced to give up her career dream because of this 'discriminatory' requirement. https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/nariman-was-forced-to-give-up-her-career-dream-because-of-this-discriminatory-requirement/6k5ac929y?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1A_liZ5VboRLrChJwHqt4wGYWXAalI9b2tKC7OA7Grx8zo7CUd_soy2GM_aem_AZvejA-dm8P2SoYWmp2uNO9qV4Q6QdDxlrE4pNvfrs-lqgKvuuZjyKxAhkJcKHroWmgHv4wJZzK6060lYfym7umZ

University Accord Report. (2022). Addressing placement poverty: Recommendations for educational reform. https://www.education.gov.au/download/17995/australian-universities-accord-final-report-summary-report/36761/australian-universities-accord-final-report-summary-report/pdf

32 Years of love & reflection: A journey through generational perspective

 

As we celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary, I find myself reflecting not only on our own journey but also on the larger narrative of love and relationships in our generation. The question that often occupies my mind is: What will our generation be known for in the decades to come?

Academically, I hold a Ph.D. in music therapy, along with Masters degrees in music (sitar) and Hindi. My passion for music extends beyond academia; I've had the privilege of being a radio artist, both as an Announcer and Drama artist, which allowed me to immerse myself in the world of sound and storytelling. My journey also led me to the role of a lecturer, where I shared my knowledge and insights with eager minds.

Beyond the realms of academia and artistry, I've embraced roles as a community leader, social worker, and counsellor. These experiences have enriched my understanding of human connections and the complexities of navigating life's challenges.

On a more personal note, I met my husband during a university dance performance, and our journey from dance partners to life partners has been filled with its share of hurdles and triumphs. We weathered opposition due to our intercaste marriage, highlighting the importance of resilience and determination in the face of adversity.

Our marriage has taught us valuable lessons about love, resilience, and the phases of life. The early days were filled with the excitement of courtship, where everything seemed beautiful and full of promise. We dreamed big, and our love felt like it could conquer anything.

However, as the honeymoon phase faded, we entered a new stage where reality set in. Life wasn't always rosy, and we faced our share of challenges and disagreements. It's during these times that many couples struggle and may even consider parting ways.

But for us, we persevered. We embraced the joys and responsibilities of raising a family, entering the phase where our focus shifted to our children's well-being. It was a busy but fulfilling time, and our love grew deeper as we navigated parenthood together.

Now, as our children have grown and started their own journeys, we find ourselves in a new phase—a phase of reflection, spirituality, and deep connection. We've learned to accept each other's flaws, cherish our memories, and prioritize our relationship above all else.

There are so many remarkable aspects of our generation that could leave a positive legacy. However, history has shown that it's often the negatives that tend to endure. My greatest concern is that our generation may be remembered as the one that gave up on love, the generation that forgot how to truly love.

We live in an era where dating has become a norm, but not always for the right reasons. Instant gratification has become a driving force, leading many to seek fleeting connections rather than deep, meaningful relationships. The allure of quick fixes and superficial attractions can overshadow the essence of love, leaving many feeling empty despite the abundance of options.

Moreover, our culture's reliance on drugs, alcohol, and instant pleasures has clouded our understanding of love. These distractions create illusions of intense emotions, masking the true essence of love that transcends mere feelings.

Our generation also tends to prioritize individual desires over collective well-being, often neglecting the compromises and sacrifices essential for nurturing lasting relationships. We are goal-driven, focused on personal growth, but sometimes forget to include our partners in the journey.

The prevalence of fairy-tale ideals and the pursuit of perfection further complicate our perception of love. Unrealistic expectations set us up for disappointment, leading to doubts and confusion about what love truly entails.

Despite these challenges, there's hope. We are the generation that can redefine love, moving away from conventional norms and embracing a more logical and compassionate approach. It's a choice we must make collectively—to understand love's purpose, its boundaries, and its complexities.

On this special anniversary, I invite you to ponder these questions with me. Will we be remembered as the generation that gave up on love, or will we be hailed as the pioneers who rediscovered its true essence? The answer lies in our choices and actions, shaping the narrative of love for generations to come.

Likes vs. Life: Navigating the Digital Distractions of Social Media

 

Once upon a time, before social media and smartphones took over, people found joy and connection in simple things. Instead of spending hours scrolling through feeds and messaging friends, they gathered together in walking groups to chat about their day. In cosy kitchen gatherings, women shared knitting tips and recipes, while children played outside, making up games and creating memories that lasted a lifetime. People were more focused on each other and the experiences they shared. They enjoyed reading, riding bikes, and having tea with friends, free from the constant interruptions of notifications and pings. However, while technology has its advantages, it has also changed the way we connect with one another. Social media encourages us to show only the best parts of our lives, and smartphones constantly distract us from the world around us.

 

Back in the early days of social media, platforms like MySpace and Friendster were hugely popular for staying connected with friends. One of the coolest features was being able to customize your profile with glittering backgrounds and choose your top eight friends to feature. People created these amazing online personas and kept tabs on their friends and even their enemies, all from the comfort of their screens. It was a way to keep up with people we might not have interacted with in person very often.

 

As social media became more common, companies turned to Facebook and Twitter to advertise. They had a lightbulb moment: why waste tons of money on conventional advertising while they can merely post a few photos or even a video on social media and get thousands of likes? Now, it is a more considered and socially accepted approach by the firms to use the social media to reach their customers. Social media can be thought of as one big party where everyone's invited, and being there is the key for businesses. It's something like going to a costume party without pants on – it's just not done! To put it another way, social media is where we go to see what our exes are up to, or to post photos of our meals. However, marketing has not been left behind as well. They employ the media of social networks to force people to buy unnecessary things. The purpose is to become billionaires, of course.

 

Imagine if companies really realized what their customers need and responded in time, just like you would in a personal conversation with a friend. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But with social media, they can do it as well! They can do it by using platforms such as Facebook and Twitter for a direct talk to their customers which helps to gather their opinion and ideas too. It looks as if technology has some sort of a magical force. Who would have ever thought that the very place where we post cat videos and food pictures can become so useful for businesses? Social media is a golden goose which enhances sharing of people’s lives and turns them into brand ambassadors without them being aware of it. It is as if the platform is a virtual stage on which people can display their accomplishments without seeming as if they are bragging (although deep down we know they are). Social media can sometimes feel like a battleground of keyboards, but hey, who needs real conversations when there are memes to send, right?

 

This gap between the virtual world of social media and the reality of human and non-virtual connections is now more pronounced. When we were just joining social networks, it blew our mind: we could restore contacts with our long-lost old friends and relatives and the similar ones. It was like we were all meets again and making up for the lost time and space. Years, distances, or other issues played no role at all in our thriving reunion. Yet, by and large, it happens that not all "friends" in the social networks are genuine. Some show up just as flaky as the crust made of baked cheese; this causes some frustration. Social media can simulate reality, and it appears as if everyone is having a great time on social media screens even if it is not the case. We feel secured by having an online girlfriend or friend, but it comes with a shadow of us, like spies who are trying to find the truth from behind their posts.

 

 Certainly, social media is the perfect tool which enables those who are masters in spying, comparing, or spreading complexity to succeed. Sadly, the boundaries of our virtual connections have been burned out. Nowadays, many users of the social media are left with little emotional nourishment from these connections. There are numerous cases (of individuals) that form themselves online by sarcasm, derision, or simple negative modes of expression. It is like you are studying a foreign language without a dictionary: you have no idea what is going on and you feel immature and stupid. Certain individuals might really take the position that being smart-mouthed and sarcastic all the time automatically makes them popular on social media, so just how true is this?

 

 Undoubtedly the social media has been the very centre of communication change, but it also draws mental issues including brain disorders. There is a feeling of being compared to others because people keep their life on social media compared with the others which has considerably aroused the problems in the society. Scientists have devoted a lot of time to the causes behind this psychological distress. One major issue is the lack of authenticity in the way people portray themselves online. This phenomenon, known as "curated" or "edited" self-presentation, involves carefully selecting and manipulating images and data to create a favourable image.

 

Social media users curate the appearance of self for various purposes. Some look for validation and acceptance within this community, while for others it is a way to overcome their insecurity and low self-esteem. Studies have shown that people who portray themselves in this manner value their social image and seek affirmation from others more than those who do not. This curated self-presentation may only offer a short-lived boost to the self-esteem, but continuously seeing such posts may result to feelings of inadequacy and depression. Research has shown a connection between the unrealistic content on social media and negative consequences like poor social comparisons, low self-esteem and sadness, greater anxiety, and even to the point of self-harm.

 

 The last research has proven that the ones who use social media frequently and compare themselves with other young adults have the tendency to feel the depression and anxiety (Grieve, 2019). Moreover, it has been discovered that when a person interacts with images of ideal bodies on platforms like Instagram, he/she is likely to feel more dissatisfied or even depressed. Addressing and preventing mental health issues related to social media can be challenging, but there are several helpful strategies to consider:

 

Practice Mindfulness:  Mindfulness means being present at the present time, accepting thoughts and feelings in the same way without being judgmental. Through mindfulness, you can gain an insight into how social media impacts you mentally and develop skills to handle your emotions rationally.

 

Set Boundaries: Although disconnecting from social media completely may be a big challenge in life, establishing boundaries and regulating its use is certainly important. Designate the times of the day where you will get to check your social media accounts and try to stop using them the minute you prepare for your bed.

 

Engage in Offline Activities: Even in daily routines, offline events provide an avenue to have equal footing. Engage in different activities including dancing, visiting with friends and family or joining clubs for a sport. Likewise, engaging in activities you love in the offline world will keep you grounded and also prevent you from seeking online social media as a pastime or a platform to look for validation from others.

 

 Be Mindful of Social Comparisons: Look at social media with self-awareness, that is don't compare yourself to others. Be aware that there are times when you might view what you see online that may not truly portray reality because other people often portray their lives. Mimicking real situations in a way that makes for a more realistic world than the world actually is. Do not place yourself in the showdown of others' successes, strive to improve yourself and have your own achievements.

 

 Seek Support: It should also be a priority for the school administration to look into the mental health issues of social media. Finding a good counsellor, a local support group, or a friend or relative can be an excellent source of help in such situations.

 

 These strategies could, in turn, be the way to mitigate the negative outcomes of social media. Use social media responsibly. A real compass is to withdraw us from the complicated digital world and our attention on the simple pleasures and activities which we did without social media and smartphones. At that moment, we can understand that true happiness and connection were there all along. Go away from the social media and meet your family and friends, stick to the offline activities and find bliss in the current moment. Let's turn off our gadgets now, hang out with a pal, and appreciate what nature offers that brings us the joy we want. Long gone is the idealism and concrete goals, which we might have had in the past; now it's all about the people we meet and the feelings we share that light our path to happiness.

 

 References:

Draženović M, Vukušić Rukavina T, Machala Poplašen L. Impact of Social Media Use on Mental Health within Adolescent and Student Populations during COVID-19 Pandemic: Review. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Feb 15;20(4):3392 https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/20/4/3392

 

Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: the impact of Facebook on young women's body image concerns and mood. Body image, 13, 38–45. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2014.12.002

 

Hillman, J. G., Fowlie, D. I., & MacDonald, T. K. (2023). Social Verification Theory: A New Way to Conceptualize Validation, Dissonance, and Belonging. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 27(3), 309-331. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683221138384

 

 

The illusion of expertise: Unveiling the dangers of relationship advice on social media

 

In recent years, a strange trend has developed where people frequently use social media platforms to seek guidance on their individual relationship problems. Because of this pattern, individuals are turning to online forums for guidance on how to manage their interpersonal relationships. This trend has individuals turning to online communities for guidance on their personal relationships. These posts, often made anonymously or under a pseudonym, generate substantial engagement and receive a plethora of responses from online communities. However, the irony lies in the fact that the advice provided in these situations may be potentially hazardous, as it originates from individuals with unknown qualifications or expertise. I Just wanted to share my views with you all that dives deep into the psychology behind this phenomenon. It's super interesting and really sheds light on the potential dangers it can bring. By examining relevant psychological theories and research, we will delve into the reasons behind the popularity of seeking relationship advice on social media and the potential negative consequences it may have on individuals.

 

The Power of Anonymity:

One psychological factor that contributes to the popularity of seeking relationship advice on social media is the power of anonymity. Online platforms provide a sense of security and protection, enabling individuals to disclose their personal problems without the fear of judgment or stigma. Anonymity can elicit a greater willingness to share intimate details, as it minimizes the potential social costs associated with self-disclosure. This anonymity also plays a role in attracting large numbers of respondents who are eager to provide their opinions without accountability.

 

 The Need for Social Support:

Humans are social beings who have an inherent need for social connection and support. When faced with relationship challenges, individuals often seek validation and reassurance from others. Social media platforms offer readily accessible communities where individuals can find solace, empathetic responses, and a sense of belonging . The desire for social support drives individuals to seek advice on these platforms, as they perceive it as a way to alleviate their distress and gain insights into their relationship issues.

 

The Illusion of Expertise:

Another psychological aspect at play is the illusion of expertise. When individuals seek relationship advice on social media, they are often met with a flood of responses from various users, each offering their unique perspectives. This abundance of opinions creates an illusion of expertise, where individuals believe they are receiving well-informed advice from a diverse range of sources. However, it is crucial to recognize that the qualifications and intentions of these respondents are often unknown, raising significant concerns about the reliability and accuracy of the advice provided.

 

Confirmation Bias and Echo Chambers:

Social media platforms are known to create echo chambers, where individuals tend to engage with like-minded individuals and ideas that confirm their existing beliefs and biases. When seeking relationship advice online, individuals may inadvertently gravitate toward responses that align with their preconceived notions or desires. This confirmation bias can hinder individuals from considering alternative perspectives and prevent them from making informed decisions based on a comprehensive understanding of their relationship dynamics.

 

Potential Dangers and Caveats:

While seeking relationship advice on social media may offer temporary relief and a sense of community, it is important to recognize the potential dangers it poses. Relying solely on unverified advice from anonymous individuals can lead to misinformation, skewed perceptions, and misguided decision-making. Furthermore, the absence of personal context and professional expertise may exacerbate existing problems or even create new ones. It is crucial for individuals to exercise caution and consider seeking professional help or consulting trusted offline networks for personalized and evidence-based advice.

 

The trend of seeking relationship advice on social media highlights the inherent human need for social support and the allure of anonymity. However, it is important to approach such platforms with caution, as the responses received may lack credibility and expertise. As individuals navigate the complexities of their relationships, it is advisable to consider the limitations and potential risks associated with seeking relationship advice on social media. Even though a sense of belonging and support can be beneficial, it is needed to combine online advice with offline resources and expert advice. Considering the following steps can help individuals make more informed decisions:

 

 Reflect on the source: Evaluate the credibility and qualifications of the individuals providing advice. Look for reputable sources, such as certified relationship therapists or counselors, who have the necessary expertise to provide reliable guidance. Some individuals who are advising may project their own negative experiences or unsolved issues on to others.

 

Seek diverse perspectives: Avoid falling into the trap of confirmation bias by actively seeking out opinions that challenge your preconceived notions. Engaging with a variety of perspectives can provide a more balanced understanding of your relationship dynamics and potential solutions. Social media gives people a chance to be noticed. Some people may give controversial or extreme advice to get attention, engagement, or validation from their online peers, even if it harms the post writer.

 

Consider context: Recognize that online interactions lack the depth and context that can be obtained through face-to-face conversations. It is essential to consider the unique aspects of your relationship and the specific dynamics involved when evaluating advice received on social media. Some people enjoy telling others to break up. They may be retaliating for past betrayals or emotional pain by encouraging others to end their relationships. Negative advice and relationship breakups are not always malicious. Some think they're helping.

 

 Engage offline support networks: Prioritize seeking advice from trusted friends, family members, or mentors who have a deeper understanding of your personal circumstances. These individuals can provide a more nuanced perspective and offer support based on their knowledge of your history and values. Understanding and responding to others' emotions requires empathy. Negative advice and relationship breakups may result from a lack of empathy. They may prioritize their opinions or desire to appear knowledgeable over the post writer's well-being. Online disinhibition causes people to act more extreme and express opinions they wouldn't in person. Online platforms can allow people to act more provocatively or negatively, including giving bad relationship advice.

 

Utilize professional help: In situations where relationship challenges persist or become increasingly complex, seeking professional help from licensed therapists or counsellors is highly recommended. These experts possess the training and experience to provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs.

 

 Ultimately, while social media can serve as a platform for seeking advice and support, individuals must exercise critical thinking, discernment, and caution when considering the opinions and suggestions offered. Balancing online interactions with offline resources can help ensure a more comprehensive and informed approach to addressing relationship issues. Remember, every individual and relationship are unique, and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. Professional help can provide you with the personalized guidance and strategies needed to address your specific circumstances and promote positive relationship outcomes.