Friday, April 19, 2024

Addressing the Dilemma of Unpaid Placements in Counselling Education



Working as a counsellor and a counselling student, I am greatly distressed for the growing problems which results in unpaid placement in the system of education. The story of Nariman Dein, a young ambitious psychologist, whose higher education was interrupted by the necessity of taking up unpaid work placement positions, highlights a deeper issue affecting students at multiple levels of study.

The 200 hours of placements and 40 hours of supervision are much needed part of the counselling educational programs. Nevertheless, this demand for counsellors who are actively practicing and registered with counselling governing boards poses a great challenge. The result of the study reveals that professionals who are competitively committed will regularly achieve more than is expectant of their supervisory hours before they enrol for the formal attachment (Smith et al., 2020).

L lived through the same situation as other students with social inequalities. The financial pressure of unpaid internships is unreasonable and unfair which specifically falls on the individuals who cannot afford to lose out on paid employment opportunities. Research has shown that those who do unpaid placements have a higher probability of dropping out of school or switching programs, while those who experience financial difficulties also have a greater likelihood of quitting or altering their program (Jessup et all 2022).

Furthermore, the personal consequences of these obstacles are not overestimated. As shown by the work of ( Hodge et al (2021) under-paying internships were associated with increased anxiety, depression and burnout in students who were forced to work there. The struggle to manage academic loads with pragmatic training needs and financial restraints of students from homogenous backgrounds can lead to a variety of mental health difficulties.

University Accord' report (2022) drawn this very picture with "placement poverty" phenomenon and that is why a systemic change is so much needed. The report is focused on the funding of placements, especially the most critical field of all, mental health counselling, where practice is pivotal.

As a proponent for change in the counselling community, I encourage the stakeholders to see the wider context of unpaid placements for students and its impact on their well-being and professional development. A paid placement scheme not only promotes diversity and inclusiveness but also allows prospective counsellors to follow their dreams of higher education without worrying about financial stability and mental health.

The bridge between academic standards and real-world needs could enable the creation of an educational terrain that supplies the children of the caring and competent counsellors.


Durack, K. T. (2013). Sweating employment: Ethical and legal issues with unpaid student internships. College Composition and Communication, 65(2), 245–272.

Hodge, L., Oke, N., McIntyre, H., & Turner, S. (2021). Lengthy unpaid placements in social work: Exploring the impacts on student well-being. Social Work Education, 40(6), 787–802.

  Jessup, B., Hoang, H., Podubinski, T., Obamiro, K., Bourke, L., Hellwege, B., Jatrana, S., Heaney, S., Farthing, A., Sheepway, L., & Rasiah, R. (2022). ‘I can’t go, I can’t afford it’: Financial concern amongst health students undertaking rural and remote placements during COVID19. The Australian Journal of Rural Health, 30(2), 238–251.

Morley, C., Hodge, L., Clarke, J., McIntyre, H., Mays, J., Briese, J., & Kostecki, T. (2023). ‘This unpaid placement makes you poor’: Australian social work students’ experiences of the financial burden of field education. Social Work Education, 1–19.

Smith, S., Smith, C., & Caddell, M. (2015). Can pay, should pay? Exploring employer and student perceptions of paid and unpaid placements. Active Learning in Higher Education, 16(2), 149–164.

Nariman was forced to give up her career dream because of this 'discriminatory' requirement.

University Accord Report. (2022). Addressing placement poverty: Recommendations for educational reform.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

32 Years of love & reflection: A journey through generational perspective


As we celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary, I find myself reflecting not only on our own journey but also on the larger narrative of love and relationships in our generation. The question that often occupies my mind is: What will our generation be known for in the decades to come?

Academically, I hold a Ph.D. in music therapy, along with Masters degrees in music (sitar) and Hindi. My passion for music extends beyond academia; I've had the privilege of being a radio artist, both as an Announcer and Drama artist, which allowed me to immerse myself in the world of sound and storytelling. My journey also led me to the role of a lecturer, where I shared my knowledge and insights with eager minds.

Beyond the realms of academia and artistry, I've embraced roles as a community leader, social worker, and counsellor. These experiences have enriched my understanding of human connections and the complexities of navigating life's challenges.

On a more personal note, I met my husband during a university dance performance, and our journey from dance partners to life partners has been filled with its share of hurdles and triumphs. We weathered opposition due to our intercaste marriage, highlighting the importance of resilience and determination in the face of adversity.

Our marriage has taught us valuable lessons about love, resilience, and the phases of life. The early days were filled with the excitement of courtship, where everything seemed beautiful and full of promise. We dreamed big, and our love felt like it could conquer anything.

However, as the honeymoon phase faded, we entered a new stage where reality set in. Life wasn't always rosy, and we faced our share of challenges and disagreements. It's during these times that many couples struggle and may even consider parting ways.

But for us, we persevered. We embraced the joys and responsibilities of raising a family, entering the phase where our focus shifted to our children's well-being. It was a busy but fulfilling time, and our love grew deeper as we navigated parenthood together.

Now, as our children have grown and started their own journeys, we find ourselves in a new phase—a phase of reflection, spirituality, and deep connection. We've learned to accept each other's flaws, cherish our memories, and prioritize our relationship above all else.

There are so many remarkable aspects of our generation that could leave a positive legacy. However, history has shown that it's often the negatives that tend to endure. My greatest concern is that our generation may be remembered as the one that gave up on love, the generation that forgot how to truly love.

We live in an era where dating has become a norm, but not always for the right reasons. Instant gratification has become a driving force, leading many to seek fleeting connections rather than deep, meaningful relationships. The allure of quick fixes and superficial attractions can overshadow the essence of love, leaving many feeling empty despite the abundance of options.

Moreover, our culture's reliance on drugs, alcohol, and instant pleasures has clouded our understanding of love. These distractions create illusions of intense emotions, masking the true essence of love that transcends mere feelings.

Our generation also tends to prioritize individual desires over collective well-being, often neglecting the compromises and sacrifices essential for nurturing lasting relationships. We are goal-driven, focused on personal growth, but sometimes forget to include our partners in the journey.

The prevalence of fairy-tale ideals and the pursuit of perfection further complicate our perception of love. Unrealistic expectations set us up for disappointment, leading to doubts and confusion about what love truly entails.

Despite these challenges, there's hope. We are the generation that can redefine love, moving away from conventional norms and embracing a more logical and compassionate approach. It's a choice we must make collectively—to understand love's purpose, its boundaries, and its complexities.

On this special anniversary, I invite you to ponder these questions with me. Will we be remembered as the generation that gave up on love, or will we be hailed as the pioneers who rediscovered its true essence? The answer lies in our choices and actions, shaping the narrative of love for generations to come.

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Likes vs. Life: Navigating the Digital Distractions of Social Media


Once upon a time, before social media and smartphones took over, people found joy and connection in simple things. Instead of spending hours scrolling through feeds and messaging friends, they gathered together in walking groups to chat about their day. In cosy kitchen gatherings, women shared knitting tips and recipes, while children played outside, making up games and creating memories that lasted a lifetime. People were more focused on each other and the experiences they shared. They enjoyed reading, riding bikes, and having tea with friends, free from the constant interruptions of notifications and pings. However, while technology has its advantages, it has also changed the way we connect with one another. Social media encourages us to show only the best parts of our lives, and smartphones constantly distract us from the world around us.


Back in the early days of social media, platforms like MySpace and Friendster were hugely popular for staying connected with friends. One of the coolest features was being able to customize your profile with glittering backgrounds and choose your top eight friends to feature. People created these amazing online personas and kept tabs on their friends and even their enemies, all from the comfort of their screens. It was a way to keep up with people we might not have interacted with in person very often.


As social media became more common, companies turned to Facebook and Twitter to advertise. They had a lightbulb moment: why waste tons of money on conventional advertising while they can merely post a few photos or even a video on social media and get thousands of likes? Now, it is a more considered and socially accepted approach by the firms to use the social media to reach their customers. Social media can be thought of as one big party where everyone's invited, and being there is the key for businesses. It's something like going to a costume party without pants on – it's just not done! To put it another way, social media is where we go to see what our exes are up to, or to post photos of our meals. However, marketing has not been left behind as well. They employ the media of social networks to force people to buy unnecessary things. The purpose is to become billionaires, of course.


Imagine if companies really realized what their customers need and responded in time, just like you would in a personal conversation with a friend. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But with social media, they can do it as well! They can do it by using platforms such as Facebook and Twitter for a direct talk to their customers which helps to gather their opinion and ideas too. It looks as if technology has some sort of a magical force. Who would have ever thought that the very place where we post cat videos and food pictures can become so useful for businesses? Social media is a golden goose which enhances sharing of people’s lives and turns them into brand ambassadors without them being aware of it. It is as if the platform is a virtual stage on which people can display their accomplishments without seeming as if they are bragging (although deep down we know they are). Social media can sometimes feel like a battleground of keyboards, but hey, who needs real conversations when there are memes to send, right?


This gap between the virtual world of social media and the reality of human and non-virtual connections is now more pronounced. When we were just joining social networks, it blew our mind: we could restore contacts with our long-lost old friends and relatives and the similar ones. It was like we were all meets again and making up for the lost time and space. Years, distances, or other issues played no role at all in our thriving reunion. Yet, by and large, it happens that not all "friends" in the social networks are genuine. Some show up just as flaky as the crust made of baked cheese; this causes some frustration. Social media can simulate reality, and it appears as if everyone is having a great time on social media screens even if it is not the case. We feel secured by having an online girlfriend or friend, but it comes with a shadow of us, like spies who are trying to find the truth from behind their posts.


 Certainly, social media is the perfect tool which enables those who are masters in spying, comparing, or spreading complexity to succeed. Sadly, the boundaries of our virtual connections have been burned out. Nowadays, many users of the social media are left with little emotional nourishment from these connections. There are numerous cases (of individuals) that form themselves online by sarcasm, derision, or simple negative modes of expression. It is like you are studying a foreign language without a dictionary: you have no idea what is going on and you feel immature and stupid. Certain individuals might really take the position that being smart-mouthed and sarcastic all the time automatically makes them popular on social media, so just how true is this?


 Undoubtedly the social media has been the very centre of communication change, but it also draws mental issues including brain disorders. There is a feeling of being compared to others because people keep their life on social media compared with the others which has considerably aroused the problems in the society. Scientists have devoted a lot of time to the causes behind this psychological distress. One major issue is the lack of authenticity in the way people portray themselves online. This phenomenon, known as "curated" or "edited" self-presentation, involves carefully selecting and manipulating images and data to create a favourable image.


Social media users curate the appearance of self for various purposes. Some look for validation and acceptance within this community, while for others it is a way to overcome their insecurity and low self-esteem. Studies have shown that people who portray themselves in this manner value their social image and seek affirmation from others more than those who do not. This curated self-presentation may only offer a short-lived boost to the self-esteem, but continuously seeing such posts may result to feelings of inadequacy and depression. Research has shown a connection between the unrealistic content on social media and negative consequences like poor social comparisons, low self-esteem and sadness, greater anxiety, and even to the point of self-harm.


 The last research has proven that the ones who use social media frequently and compare themselves with other young adults have the tendency to feel the depression and anxiety (Grieve, 2019). Moreover, it has been discovered that when a person interacts with images of ideal bodies on platforms like Instagram, he/she is likely to feel more dissatisfied or even depressed. Addressing and preventing mental health issues related to social media can be challenging, but there are several helpful strategies to consider:


Practice Mindfulness:  Mindfulness means being present at the present time, accepting thoughts and feelings in the same way without being judgmental. Through mindfulness, you can gain an insight into how social media impacts you mentally and develop skills to handle your emotions rationally.


Set Boundaries: Although disconnecting from social media completely may be a big challenge in life, establishing boundaries and regulating its use is certainly important. Designate the times of the day where you will get to check your social media accounts and try to stop using them the minute you prepare for your bed.


Engage in Offline Activities: Even in daily routines, offline events provide an avenue to have equal footing. Engage in different activities including dancing, visiting with friends and family or joining clubs for a sport. Likewise, engaging in activities you love in the offline world will keep you grounded and also prevent you from seeking online social media as a pastime or a platform to look for validation from others.


 Be Mindful of Social Comparisons: Look at social media with self-awareness, that is don't compare yourself to others. Be aware that there are times when you might view what you see online that may not truly portray reality because other people often portray their lives. Mimicking real situations in a way that makes for a more realistic world than the world actually is. Do not place yourself in the showdown of others' successes, strive to improve yourself and have your own achievements.


 Seek Support: It should also be a priority for the school administration to look into the mental health issues of social media. Finding a good counsellor, a local support group, or a friend or relative can be an excellent source of help in such situations.


 These strategies could, in turn, be the way to mitigate the negative outcomes of social media. Use social media responsibly. A real compass is to withdraw us from the complicated digital world and our attention on the simple pleasures and activities which we did without social media and smartphones. At that moment, we can understand that true happiness and connection were there all along. Go away from the social media and meet your family and friends, stick to the offline activities and find bliss in the current moment. Let's turn off our gadgets now, hang out with a pal, and appreciate what nature offers that brings us the joy we want. Long gone is the idealism and concrete goals, which we might have had in the past; now it's all about the people we meet and the feelings we share that light our path to happiness.



Draženović M, Vukušić Rukavina T, Machala Poplašen L. Impact of Social Media Use on Mental Health within Adolescent and Student Populations during COVID-19 Pandemic: Review. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2023 Feb 15;20(4):3392


Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: the impact of Facebook on young women's body image concerns and mood. Body image, 13, 38–45.


Hillman, J. G., Fowlie, D. I., & MacDonald, T. K. (2023). Social Verification Theory: A New Way to Conceptualize Validation, Dissonance, and Belonging. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 27(3), 309-331.



Wednesday, June 28, 2023

The illusion of expertise: Unveiling the dangers of relationship advice on social media


In recent years, a strange trend has developed where people frequently use social media platforms to seek guidance on their individual relationship problems. Because of this pattern, individuals are turning to online forums for guidance on how to manage their interpersonal relationships. This trend has individuals turning to online communities for guidance on their personal relationships. These posts, often made anonymously or under a pseudonym, generate substantial engagement and receive a plethora of responses from online communities. However, the irony lies in the fact that the advice provided in these situations may be potentially hazardous, as it originates from individuals with unknown qualifications or expertise. I Just wanted to share my views with you all that dives deep into the psychology behind this phenomenon. It's super interesting and really sheds light on the potential dangers it can bring. By examining relevant psychological theories and research, we will delve into the reasons behind the popularity of seeking relationship advice on social media and the potential negative consequences it may have on individuals.


The Power of Anonymity:

One psychological factor that contributes to the popularity of seeking relationship advice on social media is the power of anonymity. Online platforms provide a sense of security and protection, enabling individuals to disclose their personal problems without the fear of judgment or stigma. Anonymity can elicit a greater willingness to share intimate details, as it minimizes the potential social costs associated with self-disclosure. This anonymity also plays a role in attracting large numbers of respondents who are eager to provide their opinions without accountability.


 The Need for Social Support:

Humans are social beings who have an inherent need for social connection and support. When faced with relationship challenges, individuals often seek validation and reassurance from others. Social media platforms offer readily accessible communities where individuals can find solace, empathetic responses, and a sense of belonging . The desire for social support drives individuals to seek advice on these platforms, as they perceive it as a way to alleviate their distress and gain insights into their relationship issues.


The Illusion of Expertise:

Another psychological aspect at play is the illusion of expertise. When individuals seek relationship advice on social media, they are often met with a flood of responses from various users, each offering their unique perspectives. This abundance of opinions creates an illusion of expertise, where individuals believe they are receiving well-informed advice from a diverse range of sources. However, it is crucial to recognize that the qualifications and intentions of these respondents are often unknown, raising significant concerns about the reliability and accuracy of the advice provided.


Confirmation Bias and Echo Chambers:

Social media platforms are known to create echo chambers, where individuals tend to engage with like-minded individuals and ideas that confirm their existing beliefs and biases. When seeking relationship advice online, individuals may inadvertently gravitate toward responses that align with their preconceived notions or desires. This confirmation bias can hinder individuals from considering alternative perspectives and prevent them from making informed decisions based on a comprehensive understanding of their relationship dynamics.


Potential Dangers and Caveats:

While seeking relationship advice on social media may offer temporary relief and a sense of community, it is important to recognize the potential dangers it poses. Relying solely on unverified advice from anonymous individuals can lead to misinformation, skewed perceptions, and misguided decision-making. Furthermore, the absence of personal context and professional expertise may exacerbate existing problems or even create new ones. It is crucial for individuals to exercise caution and consider seeking professional help or consulting trusted offline networks for personalized and evidence-based advice.


The trend of seeking relationship advice on social media highlights the inherent human need for social support and the allure of anonymity. However, it is important to approach such platforms with caution, as the responses received may lack credibility and expertise. As individuals navigate the complexities of their relationships, it is advisable to consider the limitations and potential risks associated with seeking relationship advice on social media. Even though a sense of belonging and support can be beneficial, it is needed to combine online advice with offline resources and expert advice. Considering the following steps can help individuals make more informed decisions:


 Reflect on the source: Evaluate the credibility and qualifications of the individuals providing advice. Look for reputable sources, such as certified relationship therapists or counselors, who have the necessary expertise to provide reliable guidance. Some individuals who are advising may project their own negative experiences or unsolved issues on to others.


Seek diverse perspectives: Avoid falling into the trap of confirmation bias by actively seeking out opinions that challenge your preconceived notions. Engaging with a variety of perspectives can provide a more balanced understanding of your relationship dynamics and potential solutions. Social media gives people a chance to be noticed. Some people may give controversial or extreme advice to get attention, engagement, or validation from their online peers, even if it harms the post writer.


Consider context: Recognize that online interactions lack the depth and context that can be obtained through face-to-face conversations. It is essential to consider the unique aspects of your relationship and the specific dynamics involved when evaluating advice received on social media. Some people enjoy telling others to break up. They may be retaliating for past betrayals or emotional pain by encouraging others to end their relationships. Negative advice and relationship breakups are not always malicious. Some think they're helping.


 Engage offline support networks: Prioritize seeking advice from trusted friends, family members, or mentors who have a deeper understanding of your personal circumstances. These individuals can provide a more nuanced perspective and offer support based on their knowledge of your history and values. Understanding and responding to others' emotions requires empathy. Negative advice and relationship breakups may result from a lack of empathy. They may prioritize their opinions or desire to appear knowledgeable over the post writer's well-being. Online disinhibition causes people to act more extreme and express opinions they wouldn't in person. Online platforms can allow people to act more provocatively or negatively, including giving bad relationship advice.


Utilize professional help: In situations where relationship challenges persist or become increasingly complex, seeking professional help from licensed therapists or counsellors is highly recommended. These experts possess the training and experience to provide personalized guidance tailored to your specific needs.


 Ultimately, while social media can serve as a platform for seeking advice and support, individuals must exercise critical thinking, discernment, and caution when considering the opinions and suggestions offered. Balancing online interactions with offline resources can help ensure a more comprehensive and informed approach to addressing relationship issues. Remember, every individual and relationship are unique, and what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. Professional help can provide you with the personalized guidance and strategies needed to address your specific circumstances and promote positive relationship outcomes.





Friday, May 26, 2023

The Keyboard Warriors: A Look at the Armchair Critics of Indian Government


India's culture is diverse, and its economy is growing faster. Technology, infrastructure, education, and healthcare have all advanced in India. In 2017, the Indian Space Research Organization (ISRO) launched 104 satellites in a single operation, making it the fourth country to do it. Our pharmaceutical sector in India is acknowledged around the world for creating low-cost and high-quality medications. During COVID 19  "Vaccine Maitri" campaign, provided BY India to various countries with essential medications, vaccinations, and medical supplies. This demonstrated India's support for global healthcare and improved relations. Whether it's the SCO or the G20 Summit, India is in the lead in every competition. India is such a contrasting and vibrant country with its own set of challenges!  There's no doubt about that there's always a room for improvement, but let's take a moment and appreciate the progress that's already been made by our country and is still ongoing.

A particular type of Indian feels the need to continually criticize the Indian government on social media despite living abroad. They appear incapable of restraining their desire to express their opinions on a variety of subjects, including politics, the economy, and social issues.  It might be challenging to observe from a distance while having no direct influence on the progress of the nation as an NRI.  It's depressing to observe how some individuals choose to trash India and its leadership on social media without actually comprehending the intricate problems at stake. India faces numerous difficulties, but it's equally crucial to highlight the nation's many achievements and advancements.

Let's start by discussing whether this is developing into a trend. That is how it clearly seems. Social media has given everyone a platform to express their opinions, and it’s understandable but some people would want to take benefit of this. You shouldn't necessarily use your voice simply because you can, though. Moreover, if you do decide to lash the Indian government, at least make sure your criticism is helpful rather than just senseless. Why do certain Indians feel the need to criticize the government so much while accomplishing nothing is the question.  There are ways for them to help India grow and flourish rather than just whining and criticizing. Investing in Indian companies, assisting regional causes, or even moving back to India and being involved in politics or humanitarian work are all examples of this.

There is also a feeling of remoteness. Living in a foreign country abroad makes it simple for people to feel cut off from their own country. Social media makes easier for them to stay in touch, but it can also result in a false assessment of what is actually happening. It's simpler to criticize from a distance than it is to actually get engaged and attempt to change things. The problem of identification is the last. Many Indians who reside outside of India take pride in being Indian. However, it can also lead to conflict. They could feel conflicted about their devotion to both their adoptive country and their country of birth. They can demonstrate their Indian identity and continued concern for their nation by criticizing the Indian government.

Eventually it is very important for people to always understand that, they  have a responsibility to maintain and develop their country's reputation. Criticizing the government in the absence of ideas or initiatives to effect change is ineffective and might even have the opposite effect.

What then is the solution? If these Indians are sincerely committed to improving India, they should consider going back and working toward that goal. On the other hand, saying it is easier than doing it. Moving back to India is a big decision, and it's not always possible or viable. There are other ways to participate, though. They can  donate to groups or charities that support their goals, or they could use their skills and talents to help in other ways.

Finally, criticism isn't always negative. It may be a potent tool for transformation. However, it must be useful and based in reality. Criticizing without cause, especially from a distance, is merely noise. These Indians must be prepared to put in the effort if they truly want to change the world.

Voting in elections is a crucial means for Indian citizens to express their democratic rights and effect change. It seems unlikely that criticizing the administration will have any real impact unless action is taken to change the situation. It's crucial to keep in mind that the people elect the government, therefore if we want change, we must cast informed ballots. Criticizing without taking any action is insufficient; in order to create a better future for India, we must collaborate.

Saturday, April 22, 2023

Don't Fall for the Trap: Staying Ahead of Fake News and Misinformation"


In recent times, there has been a surge in the proliferation of counterfeit news channels on and fabricated news pages on Facebook. 

The Bachan family of Bollywood recently filed a lawsuit against two YouTube channels for disseminating false information regarding Aradhya Bachan. The family has alleged that the channels disseminated inaccurate information and unfounded conspiracy theories pertaining to the health status of the eleven-year-old girl, thereby inducing unwarranted anxiety among their supporters and sympathisers. The Bachchan family has made a request to YouTube to remove the videos in question and prevent any additional dissemination of misinformation.

In today's digital age, the spread of fake news has become a major concern. It is imperative for individuals to be able to distinguish between credible and unreliable sources of information. 
The proliferation of counterfeit news outlets and pages on social media platforms has emerged as a worrisome global phenomenon. 

In order to avoid being misled by fake news, there are several tips that can be followed. Firstly, it is important to verify the source of the information. One should always check the credibility of the website or news outlet before accepting the information as true. Secondly, cross-checking the information

This occurrence underscores the importance of exercising prudence when encountering misinformation disseminated through social media channels. Outlined below are several strategies that individuals can employ to avoid being misled by false information:

It is imperative to authenticate the source of information prior to disseminating any news. To verify the authenticity of the news, it is recommended to check the credibility of the website or social media page that disseminated the information.

It is advisable to cross-check the veracity of information by verifying it through multiple sources to ensure its accuracy. 

It is also advisable to verify the date of news articles as some may present outdated information as current, which is a common practise in fake news dissemination. It is advisable to verify the publication date of a given article in order to ascertain its relevance and recency.

Frequently, spurious news articles exhibit sensational verbiage accompanied by headlines that are designed to capture the reader's attention. It is advisable to exercise caution when encountering articles and to verify the accuracy of their content prior to disseminating them.

It is recommended to rely on trusted news sources in order to obtain accurate and unbiased news. It is advisable to refrain from disseminating information from unfamiliar sources or websites that employ sensational headlines to attract clicks.

In summary, it is imperative to remain cognizant of the dissemination of false information on social media platforms and implement appropriate measures to prevent falling prey to such misinformation. By adhering to the aforementioned guidelines, it is possible to mitigate the dissemination of fabricated news and erroneous information.

Tuesday, April 11, 2023

"Mate Poaching: Exploring the Origins, Motivations, and Consequences"


The term "mate poaching" finds its roots in the discipline of evolutionary psychology. The theory of sexual selection posits that individuals are driven to seek and obtain mates of superior quality as a means of optimising their reproductive achievements.

The phrase "mate poaching" originated during the 1990s to describe the trend of individuals engaging in sexual or romantic relationships with individuals who were already in committed partnerships. 
Currently, the phrase "mate poaching" is frequently utilised in both popular culture and scholarly discourse, with professionals in the fields of psychology, sociology, and relationship studies expressing keen interest in the subject matter. Mate poaching is perceived by some as a detrimental and morally questionable behaviour that may lead to anguish, emotional distress, and, in certain cases, physical aggression. For years, pursuing and seducing married people has fascinated and divided opinion.

However, it seems that the act of mate theft has witnessed an increase in frequency in recent times. According to the Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 20% of people have experienced mate poaching.  This topic has been extensively discussed and analysed. The phenomenon of mate poaching has garnered significant interest from scholars, members of the media, and the wider populace. This assertion holds true regardless of whether it is perceived as innocuous flirtation or a morally reprehensible act of disloyalty.

The rise in mate theft is also evident in popular culture. From "The Other Woman" to "Scandal," media is increasingly normalising mate poaching. The question is why and how it affects people and relationships. Despite gender, some people have romantic or sexual relationships with their friends' partners.The reasons for such behaviour vary. However, many psychological factors may cause such behaviour. The aforementioned conduct could stem from a yearning for newness or stimulation, a conviction that the person is a more suitable match for their partner than their current partner, or a competitive inclination with the friend.

An additional variable to consider is the quality and characteristics of the platonic relationship between the female/male individual and the partner of their friend. In the event of a robust emotional connection between two individuals, there is a higher probability of the emergence of romantic sentiments. A person may also be prone to turn to a romantic partner they are familiar with for solace and validation when they experience problems in their personal relationships. A lack of respect for personal boundaries or entitlement, a desire for payback or revenge, or a need for attention or approval may have caused the behaviour.
It is crucial to acknowledge that participating in such actions can result in adverse outcomes for all individuals concerned, such as inducing emotional distress and damaging social relationships. According to empirical data, people with narcissistic traits are more likely than people without such traits to practise partner poaching. Narcissists are self-centered, insensitive, and needy. Pursuing a committed partner may challenge or boost self-esteem. In certain cases, individuals may perceive the spouse or partner of their acquaintance as an object to be subjugated, rather than as an autonomous entity with distinct thoughts and emotions. Hence, it is crucial to acknowledge the likelihood of mate poaching by narcissistic individuals and to adopt preventive measures against such conduct. Individuals in committed relationships should remain cognizant of the possibility of mate poaching and implement measures to safeguard themselves against it. The following recommendations may prove useful:

It is advisable to communicate unambiguously to individuals that you are currently in a committed romantic partnership and are not seeking additional romantic involvement. Being transparent about one's relationship status and avoiding circumstances that may be perceived as amorous or suggestive could be interpreted as a way to maintain appropriate boundaries.

In the event that evidence exists indicating that one's friend is engaging in communication with their spouse, it may be advisable to initiate a conversation with said friend regarding one's concerns. It is recommended to utilise clear and direct communication to convey to the individual that their behaviour is deemed unacceptable.

It is advisable to remain vigilant for indications of poaching attempts by an individual or a potential partner. These behaviours may encompass an abundance of flirtatiousness, manipulation of emotions, or the act of keeping things hidden.

Sustaining a robust and salubrious relationship necessitates a substantial allocation of time and exertion, particularly within the framework of a committed amorous alliance. This may encompass frequent exchange of information, substantial duration of shared activities, and effective resolution of issues.

Conduct an observation of your friend's conduct in the presence of your spouse, and scrutinise for indications of impropriety or flirtation.

In the event of any apprehensions, it is advisable to communicate them with one's partner and solicit their viewpoint. The observation of such activities may provide insight into potential wrongdoing or serve to validate preexisting suspicions.

It is imperative to communicate to both your friend and partner that any endeavour to meddle with your relationship will not be accepted. Establishing clear and unambiguous boundaries for communication and social interaction may be deemed necessary. If a friend consistently displays inappropriate behaviour or disregards personal boundaries, it may become necessary to end the friendship. At times Making decisions can be a challenging task, yet it holds significant value to prioritise one's well-being, contentment, interpersonal connections, and the individuals involved.

It is imperative to give due consideration to mate poaching concerns and handle them appropriately in order to safeguard one's relationship and overall well-being.
Partner theft is a multifaceted phenomenon that can be impacted by diverse individual and societal factors. It is imperative to acknowledge that participating in such behaviour can yield adverse outcomes and may not align with ethical or sustainable means of seeking a romantic relationship.

The rationales behind engaging in flirtatious behaviour or extramarital affairs with a friend's partner are subject to individual variation. However, it is imperative to take into account the plausible psychological variables that could be influencing this conduct and to tackle any fundamental issues that may be propelling it.

Monday, March 13, 2023


Despair and disappointment are components of modern life. An excess of emotion can lead to bitterness. When this occurs, trust and love in relationships are often irreparably damaged. 

At some point in our lives, we may have encountered individuals whose actions were detrimental to themselves and others. Sometimes we truly do not comprehend why they are so hostile. Regardless of the reason for this bitterness, it is essential to identify these types of individuals in our lives before their bitterness consumes our mental tranquilly. 

Dealing with unpleasant individuals can be painful and even terrifying. In reality, these situations are complex, and we frequently do not know what to do. Although not as difficult as we might believe. 

A bad attitude, like everyone else, can have a bad day. Nonetheless, there are those who are always in this state, holding grudges even in happy "should" moments. Let us learn more about them.

Unhappiness and resentment stand out among the emotions that comprise bitterness, which is an incredibly difficult mixture. However, this does not imply that all individuals become bitter when angry or depressed. As humans, we all experience terrible days when our disposition is poor. However, there are numerous people in our vicinity who live persistently and spew venom. This occurs when they cannot tightly control their emotions. As a result, they cling to these emotions rather than releasing them. These feelings evolve into feelings of bitterness over time. Such individuals consistently attempt to make others feel guilty.
In actuality, they attempt to foster an environment in which others are held accountable for their adversity. They consider themselves to be victims. Understanding why people are so resentful is a difficult endeavour. Bitterness is actually influenced by a number of factors. They share a common characteristic: a lack of emotional control. Subdued, unappreciated resentment can also play a significant role in the creation of bitterness. 

Those who are resented exhibit numerous characteristics. For instance, they exhibit repetitive behavior, such as constantly complaining. They attribute their difficulties to the actions of others. Emotionally harming others for no reason. constant disputes with friends, partners, and family members. Exhibit selfish conduct. Create conflictual environments everywhere. Interacting with abrasive individuals is typically difficult and can result in extremely unpleasant feelings. 

Here are some suggestions for handling them. At some point, their venom becomes so intense that avoiding them is the best course of action. Please do not take it personally, as it is their way of dealing with them. 

Be considerate of them. It is difficult to interact with harsh people, but try to see beyond their pessimism.

Never permit indifferent behaviour. This is one of the most common characteristics of resentful individuals, so it is acceptable to end this relationship to avoid such problems. Be affable and approachable.

Thursday, April 29, 2021

बेबाक़ हँसी

 ना  कर  रश्क़ मेरी बेबाक़ हँसी पर ऐ मेरे दोस्त, इस हँसी में ना जाने तेरी बद्सलूकी के कितने फसाने छिपाए फिरती हूँ. ना कर गिला इस ख़ामोश हँसी का ,जो लब खुले तो तेरे फ़साने आम होंगे और फिर न जाने कितने हैं,जो बदनाम होंगे. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

बस.. अब और नहीं

टूटते ख़वाब ,
बिखरती ज़िन्दगी को
समेटने की नाकाम कोशिश करती
ज़िंदा लाशों की भीड़ को  चीरती
थके कदम,  झुके से काँधे
दिल पर हज़ारो बोझ
हर वक्त मिलती एक अनजानी सी सज़ा
भयानक हादसा लगती ये बेवजह ज़िन्दगी
मौत से सिर्फ एक कदम फासले पर खड़ी मैं
मुक्ति बंधन के कपोल- कल्पित बोध
के रोमांचित क्षण से आलंगन को तत्पर मैं
ठिठकी पल भर को ,
जब दस्तक देते सुना
अवचेतन मन को .
इस ज़िंदगी से बहुत मिला
क्यों वही गिना , जो हासिल न हुआ
वोह लोग जो मुझ सा दौड़ न सके ,
क्यों हिमाक़त हुई वोह मुझे तोड़ सके ?
कितनी नादान थी कि गिरने के शोर से डरती रही
और चुपके से भीतर ही भीतर से टूटती रही  .
वक़्त मुझे तराशता रहा और मैं
वक़्त की खरोंचों को ज़ख्म समझती रही
नहीं जानती थी कि अक्सर बेआवाज़ रोने वाले
बे वक़्त मर जाया करते हैं .
बस... अब और नहीं
अब न आंधी से न तूफ़ां से यूँ  डर  जाऊँगी
बहती नदी हूँ , पहाड़ से गिरी तो समुन्द्र में समा जाउंगी
उन्मुक्त बदली हूँ , यहाँ नहीं तो कहीं और बरस जाउंगी.

Friday, April 10, 2020

AHSAAS Poem by Dr. Madhvi Mohindra


                            कभी सोचा न था कि
वक्त इतना वक्त दे देगा
इस वक्त को यू बिताने के लिये

आज जब वक्त मिला तो
मुड कर देखा उस वक्त को
जब वक्त नही   था
आज के इस वक्त को जानने का

कभी जिन्दगी के पीछे भागते
कभी जिन्दगी के साथ भागते

वक्त कैसे हाथ से फिसल गया
ये सोचने का वक्त ही नही  मिला

आज जब वक्त मिला तो
मुड कर देखा उस वक्त को
जब वक्त नहीं था
आज के इस वक्त को जानने का

आज यूहीं  वक्त बिताने को
खोल बै्ठी परछत्ती पर रखी
पुरानी अटैची , बयान करती वक्त की कहानी

टूटा ताला, उखडा हैन्डल , उधडी बखिया
मेरी ही तरह घूम कर पूरी दुनिया
व्यक्त करती बीते वक्त की कहानियां

मै, जो हर वक्त, वक्त के साथ चलती रही
डिजाइनर बैग्स और सूट्केस खरीदती रही
इस पुरानी अटैची को बदलने का वक्त ही नहीं  मिला

आज जब वक्त मिला तो
मुड कर देखा उस वक्त को
जब वक्त नहि था
आज के इस वक्त को जानने के लिये

सलीके से उन कपडो को ढापता , मेरा सूती दुपट्टा
कपडो से आती वोह पह्चनी सी सुगन्ध

माँ की दी हुई वो  रेश्मी बूटो वाली साडी
पापा कि दिलवाई हुई वोह घुंघरू  वाली पायल

दहेज के बर्तनो के साथ मिली वो केतली की टिकोजी
कढाई किये वो लेस वाले रुमाल,

और मेरे आज के वक्त का उपहास उडाते
लिफाफे मे लिपटे , बीते वक्त के कुछ खत

बीते वक्त की वो साडी  , और आज के आधुनिक परीधान
वो चान्दी की पायजेब और ये सर्वोस्कि के ढेर

वो हाथ के कढे रुमाल,
और ये टिशु पपेर्स का अम्बार

आज इस थोडे से वक्त में
मेरे बीते वक्त ने,
आज के वक्त को निष्फल कर दिया।

आज तक यही सुना था

वक्त कभी रुकता नहि
वक्त के साथ चलो
मेर वक्त भी अयेगा
बुरा वक्त चला जायेगा

आज वक्त मिला तो जाना,
वक्त तो वहीं  है जहा था
ये तो मै ही थी
ये तो मै ही थी , जो दौडती रही रेगिस्तान की मरिचिका के पीछे

आज वक्त मिला तो जाना
क्या इसी का नाम है पाना?

जब हाथ मे है आना
पर बाजार मे नहीं है दाना

परिवार के लिये नहीं   था वक्त
और दोस्त बनाये अन्गिनत

आज वक्त मिला तो जाना

कि आज तक तो सिर्फ आलिशान मकान बनाये थे
वो घर तो आज बने है

जहा मुझ से  हाथ मिलाते डरने वाले लोग नहीं
मेरे अपने है

आज वक्त मिला तो
ढूढा बीते दिनो का खजाना

और फिर जाना कि
ये रोना, ये रुलाना,
यू उलझना , यू उलझाना
ये आलोचना ये उल्हाना

सब छोड दो ना
और जो मैने किया

ये पढना य़े लिखना
यू हंसना , यू मुस्कुरान

ये सा
धना ये अराधना
ये समझना, ये समझाना

ये धोना ये पोछना
वो तुम भी करो ना